Friday, August 20, 2010

Thinking out loud...

I was looking back over some blog posts from different nights like tonight. 

You know, nights where Kyla is going back to mom for mom's turn tomorrow, and I'm all introspective, and moody, happy, yet sad, optimistic yet in need of some sort of reassurance.

But tonight, it's not like that. 

In fact, tonight, I'm proud. And confident. And thankful. Blessed. 

Sure, I'm a little bit emotional. She's the love of all loves of my life. The ONE thing in life I've tried hard to do right, even though I know I've not been perfect. She's the greatest thing I've ever been a part of, she's part of me, and is my own piece of heaven on earth. 

But, as she sleeps, and as I go through the pre-flight back to mom checklist, I'm proud. So proud.

I'm proud that she's eating mostly organic foods now, and never really noticed the switch. That's not to say she doesn't eat some non-organic and healthy stuff, but I really believe one of the reasons she's so resilient is because she eats relatively healthy.

I mean, aside from the occasional Georgetown Cupcake (that's DC Cupcake to you who don't get it, but who might get it sorta...)

I'm proud that she's so smart and clever... and is in love with discovering new things. 

I'm proud that she's learning that she can be accountable for making her bed, putting her things away, cleaning up and being responsible, knowing that she'll earn rewards if she works hard and stays focused.
I'm proud of the job her mom and I are doing together, and I'm proud of the way she and my new friend of the girl persuasion have gotten to know each other and are building a relationship. 

I'm proud that she's learning that she can't get away with some things, that tantrums don't get results, and I'm proud that she'd rather read than watch TV, although, she does love a good game of Cash Cab every now and then :)

I'm proud of her heart, soul and spirit -- and the beautiful little girl she's becoming. 

So, tonight, I'm not listening to emotional adult pop drinking wine thinking that "I'll miss this one" and "oooh I'm sad..."

No, quite conversely, I'm sitting here thinking how proud I am that we're co-parenting such an amazing little girl. That we're managing to do it in a way that I think makes some people crazy, but that I know makes sure that Kyla is always the center of what we do, and is always at the core of our decision making process. It's amazing. I read stories and hear tales of families who fail miserably at co-parenting and whatnot, and again, we're not perfect, but I'm proud of the fact that I think we're doing okay.
I'm excited for Kyla. I remember first grade. I told her tonight that now's when the fun starts. I'm thankful I'm going to be along for the ride and to be a part of it with her. 

Kyla has made me a better man. Not perfect, but better. In all ways that count, she's made me better. And I'm proud to be her father. 

Tomorrow, she'll hop on a flight - by herself - for her next adventure. I'll see her in a couple of weeks, and we'll no doubt talk more often than not. I've already dropped some postcards in the mail for her, too. 

It's hard to believe that for me, the adventure of being a daddy is closing in on seven years old. 

Wow. Time flies. 

Goodnight, friends. As you know, after she leaves, I've got a busy weekend ahead.

I rekkin'. 


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