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Sunday, April 23, 2006

Bittersweet symphony...

Here's some pics from easter... Kyla and I spending our last full weekend together, at one of the many lakes in the Carolinas... this one, in Raleigh...




Good morning from Kyla's Meme and Papa's house in the Pocono Mountains... where Kyla and I got up at 630 this AM because she's going back to her mom's in Hartford today... She loves her Meme and Papa's... she's just had such a great time in a short amount of time... from the puppydoggie to her toys... she loves being here with her grandparents on my side...

Today, she's got a party for her mom's friends and family today at around 2, and while she's doing that, I'll be driving back to SC to take care of me, some business I need to make SMOKE in the next few weeks and I'll finally finsh making Kyla's room into the playplace it deserves to be... She'll be back with me in June for a week and then, right after July 4th, she'll come back to Columbia until the holidays in December hit...

Is it tough? Yeah. Last night, Kyla decided she'd rather sleep up next to me, so she moved her blankets, pillows, etc over by me and decided to cuddle up next to me. This AM,she's been playing with the puppy here, having a tea party with her new tea party set, and has just been the happy 2-year-old she usually is...

... but I think she knows we won't be together later today. She doesn't go very far from me, and if she does, I hear a "daddy?" call out from across the house... It's pretty awesome to hear it... If you're a dad of a little girl, you can relate. Anyway, Kyla's very blessed to have two parents who love her very much, and, well, I'd say two families... but as I've learned latetly, she's got much more than that going on around her little world! I do know she's already missing her best friend, Carson.... she's been babbling about Carson non-stop since they were at Chuck E. Cheese in Columbia Thursday night...

Anyway, I'll write more and share the pics of her easter with me later today or tomorrow if I have the time... I'm making sure that her clothes are good to go and we'll be off to CT. here shortly... I'll also share some more of my thoughts, too...

I'd like to thank some people for their help while Kyla's been with me these last months... wow... has it been since February? I guess it has... how time does fly by... Hilary Clinton once said that "It takes a villiage..." and she's right, if that villiage is more like a family...

For Kyla, when she's with me in Columbia, it is.

Kelley... thank you for your parental advice, and for taking Kyla into your heart and family as a sister. I know she'll miss Carson... she already does. She woke up this morning and asked me if we were going to NanaCarsonBabyJackson's... LOL... I know she'll look forward to seeing them again in June when she's back with me for a week... and yes, we DO have a suprize for her!

Nana... thank you... for being the grandmother in Columbia for her... she's learned so much from you and has benefited from your loving care... She loves you... and because you've made her one of your own, I love you too...

Jennifer! Thank you for watching her for me for the last hour and a half of my show, thereby allowing us to have fewer color marks on the wall, flat screen monitors, etc!

DuffeyShaun -- I dont know what I'd do without you too... Kyla asked me on the drive up here, "Where duffeyshaun today"... Thanks for everything you've done for her, and for me..

Carly -- You are amazing. Kyla said it best when she said it last weekend to you... "I love you, Car-ee..." Thanks for everything you've done for this little girl... and for her daddy, too...

Meme and Papa... thanks for everything, from Kyla Go-Carts, to tea parties, toys and clothes, and setting the example on how to be a daddy...

Wal-Mart, Kroger, Target, Lifesizekids.com, clothing stores across the Midlands, Baby Gap, etc... thanks!

Palmetto Parent magazine -- lol... thanks for the advice...

:)

more later... gotta hit the road, and have miles to go before I sleep!

-daddy

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Staying on offense... in your lane... with confidence...

Had to start by posting a pic of the lil' sleeper... it's her sleepin time, and she's here all crashed out with her baby... what you don't see are her DoraBootsDiego 'looonz' which are in her crib with her... Seeing Kyla sleeping reminds me how simple - and how peaceful - life really is, when we live it with a childlike wonder!

There are times, and more and more often lately, where I find myself asked to dispense some advice. Now, I'm no John Maxwell, Anthony Robbins, et al... Nor am I the guy who is the best at giving advice because I myself find myself needing to seek, follow and to think about the advice I am given, but for some reason lately, I've just been asked for my thoughts... or to advise... and since several of these people are very close to me professionally and personally, I chose to do so.


Life, it seems, can give us things which we just don't understand.

Recently, a friend of mine was interviewed for a job that they believed they were qualified for... that they were more than ready for, and yet, because it just wasn't in the cards, another person was given this promotion. My friend was, well, easily upset to say the least. And why not? Who wouldn't be upset if you were one who believed they deserved something which they wanted, only to be told that you were not the one for it?

I'm learning that you can't be upset about things which don't work out. Why? This will sound very esoteric, but the solution is simple:

It wasn't meant to be. And something better is just ahead for you.

Now, sure. I hear you. "Nice words to make one feel better, tk... it wasn't meant to be..."

Well, it wasn't. If it WAS, my friend would have gotten that job. You'd get that raise you've wanted. You'd get a pair of Citizens of Humanity Jeans, a new Louis Vuitton, the keys to a brand new BMW 645i, oh, and your boyfriend would notice that you're wearing your hair differently today.

But, something better is just ahead. For some, it's a pair of BIG STAR jeans. It's a Mercedes. It's a BETTER gig in a BETTER place which will allow you to THRIVE and to become a STAR because it's tailor made for you.

Once, someone told me that 'all things are working together for the good', and that 'good doesn't always mean what YOU think is good or what YOU want'. And, it's true. But, as I told my friend the other week, when you let go, and accept that there IS something better ahead, you'll find that life starts to live itself more easily.

Last Thursday night, an old friend and business colleague told me of a neat caveat to this idea of mine... that all things do happen for a reason, and that something BETTER really is just ahead for you, but there are three more things you must know and do to facilitate this for yourself:

Stay on offense. Stay in YOUR lane. And have CONFIDENCE.

Pretty cool, hua? It's when we become defensive that we reveal our weaknesses as people. Think about it! When have YOU become defensive? What does it do to your demeanor? You come across as angry... people sense your tension... the vibe puts people off...

EO's words could not have come at a more appropriate time for me. This evening, on my way home, I was on the phone with another friend and colleague and he echoed very similar seniments... Karma? I doubt it.... but it made me listen, that's for sure...

Just today, I got defensive. It made me look foolish. Like Don Quixote, I was defending my windmill, when in reality, I could have spent my time being more productive, solving an issue, and making our team perform better because I was excersicing personal responsibility. Have you been defensive lately? Think of what it might have done to you in the eyes of your peers...

When we go on the defense, we look - and can be - defeated.

Defensive play cost the 1992 Houston Oilers a trip to a Super Bowl. They ran up the score huge, and almost guaranteed themselves a trip to the big game that year...

... until they put in a defensive PREVENT defense which ultimately prevented the win, and gave the Buffalo Bills one of the greatest comebacks in Football history.

In the world of radio, it was going on the DEFENSE that killed the legendary Q105 when the Power Pig came on strong -- playing OFFENSE -- and making the powers that be become so defensive that they imploded, causing a major radio company at the time to flip the formats on a nationally known top 40 station in the country from HITS/TOP 40 to GARTH BROOKS COUNTRY.

It's going on defense in our relationships that causes deeper distrust between the ones we love because our actions spend so much energy defending what is wrong that you never concentrate on what is right.

See the coorelation? When you go on the defense, you find defeat. Doubt. Depression. All these "d" words in orbit around failure in the "defeatist" universe.


I could go on and on... the moral to this story is this:

When we stay on offense, we offer solutions. We move the ball forward and put more and more points on the board. We improve our position. We overwhelm daily. We focus on the POSITIVES of moving forward rather than the negatives of being defensive --- or being reactive.

With my issues today, I should have stayed on offense... and I should have kept moving the ball forward because in doing so, I'd have spent more time being PROactive.... finding solutions... fixing issues, rather than sitting here tired, and mentallty drained, because those are byproducts of a defensive defeatist mentality. Funny, the last time I played serious offense, I learned more about a part of my job than i ever thought I could ever learn.

Funny, the last time I played offense with my family life, I realized I really am a great daddy to a wonderful little girl. The last time I played offense in my relationship, I found that I really do have so much to offer, and I overcame so many inner fears so that WE could have a great relationship together despite the odds of my defensive past. Being on offense in my professional life... well... we're still finishing that story, but I'm thinking it's time to run up the damn score.

> insert devilish grin here as he winks with a subtle confidence <

Now, it's not all roses. Being on offense means accepting personal responsibility for actions you took when you were on defense. You will have to fix residual problems. You'll have to re-earn some trust. You'll have to take an ear-ful from your signifigant other. It might not be easy, but when you're on offense, you'll run toward what you think is hard because it's in breaking down a defense which leads you to the end zone of life.

So, get over your percieved setbacks. Who cares who got what job. So what if you didn't get a promotion, or a raise. You can settle for a Coach over a Louis, right?

Accept that reality is what you choose to make it and get back in the game. Get back on offense. Start moving the chains in the game of your love life, your work life, your home life... Put more points on the board and run up the score. Sure, some might say you're being excessive, but are THEY on offense? If they were, they'd not have questioned your tactics. While they question you, go ahead and toss that pass and put another TD on the board.

Run it up. Win the game. And, like I used to say last summer, live with passion!

I'll be getting back on offense with you. God knows I've not been on offense lately...

... and God knows I need to follow my own advice I've given here...

Funny how life works, right?

With passion........

-tk

Recent Kyla!


Hey! Sorry it's been a minute... but I've been busy being daddy... and playing with this little one who you'll see some recent pics of here today!

Now, I do have some thoughts to complete from an earlier post... and I will try to do so today... but while you're waiting... here's some pics of Kyla!!!


Kyla got a new shirt... a present from Carly! This pic was from Sunday night when I was building her new table that she got from her Meme and Papa... more pics on this later today!


This is Kyla feeding her daddy some ICE CREAM for her B-DAY!!! Kyla 2.o: the Kylabration continues!


Kyla and daddy watching the ducks as the sun sets at a lake in Raleigh, NC...


Kyla is comptemplating the whoreifficness of Kellie Pickler on American Idol... in her new Dora papazan which she got for her BDAY 2.0 from Carly! She and Daddy are watching American Idol... and as you can see, she's very intense about this season's competition...

... or she's taking a poop. Both require intense focus and concentration as you know.


Kyla preparing for a future career as a dentist at EdVenture here in Columbia, SC!

Kyla running at the water exhibit at EdVenture here in Columbia!