Thursday, September 07, 2006

Dora and Diego are the greatest of all time...

Kyla lookin' for either Nummies* or some sort of drink at the recent Jimmy V. Golf Tournament in Nc.

*Nummies are what she calls fruit treats. Depending on the cartoon character associated, Nums can take on several forms... ie: Dora Nummies; Polly Pocket Nummies; Nemo Nummies, Disney-Cars Nummies, etc.

While we grew up watching, I don't know, the SMURFS... Kids today are learning Spanish and a love for animals with this stuff that's like CRACK... I should have known Kyla would love the Dora/Diego-Go... because when she was small.... she used to watch Baby Einsteins ALL the time...

... that stuff was like crack... imagine being, um, well, under the influence of some sort of 1960's... um... you get the idea, right?

So anyway, she LOVES Diego. I think she has a crush on him. She also loves the BACK-YARD-I-GANS... which she says phonetically PERFECTLY... which I can't get over.

More later... k*yla's mom wanted some pics posted so I figured I'd post 'em!

Oh, see that teethy thing she's doin? She got that from my dad, who she calls Papa... last time we were at Meme and Papa's she came up with this thing... She must have got it from him... Dad, this one's for you!


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Kyla, Me and the ZOO!

tk note: there will be no random musing, thoughts or attempts at inspiration here today...

Ya know, there's just something about seeing something you take for granted through the eyes of a 2 1/2 year old... and this weekend, I got to see -- really -- how awesome some little things are when you stop to see 'em through little eyes...

Ah, Labor day... the holiday allowing those of us in the states who work 90 hour weeks in the name of, er, whatever, a chance to pause...

This labor day, I spend some incredible one on one time with my daughter, Kyla, who taught me how to love the Zoo all over again. I had been planning to take her all weekend, and it was to be a suprise for her completely... she kept asking "where we goin' daddy? store to get nummies? mall to go shoppin? daddy office? 'wimmin?"

When we got there, she saw the giraffe and I could swear to you this child morphed into Diego, Dora's older cousin! She went on a pony ride... her FIRST! Her daddy LOVES riding... it's gay, but someday I'll tell you the stories of me, horses, shoveling s*** to get lessons, and a weird trip to a Texas hill country scout camp sometime...
The best was her trying to keep her hat on... LOL... Superbrat Kyla was worried about it sliding down her head, but I've gotta give it to her... she held onto the horn on that western saddle and rode that pony!

I'm going to be posting the pics over at on my page for very selfish reasons which i'll detail here more later, but in the meantime... while I'm figuring out our website's new photo tools and ish, I hope you enjoy these... I've literally got about 100 or so to post over there as I break in my new page on WNOK.COM :)

Did I ever tell you just exactly how much I love my job? Being Kyla's dad is the greatest gig on earth...

... even greater than the pretty awesome gig I've got.

More tomorrow over at



Sunday, September 03, 2006

Labor Day

Hey. Thanks for stoppin' by! Tomorrow, Kyla and I will venture off to the Riverbanks Zoo here in Columbia... I've got to do a couple of things in the office tomorrow... and maybe even hang with Kelly Nash on a gig (long story, if you're a radio person, email me and i'll tell you that story)... and then we'll go enjoy the rest of our holiday...

... Oh yeah, Kyla is back with me! she's been here for a few weeks, aside from one week when she was in NC with a friend who was watching her while I was at some meetings in Charlotte.

So... we've got some stuff to catch up on... And a lot of it has to do with how life works in a way it's exactly supposed to...

Recently, I had an opportunity to talk about some really exciting stuff with a couple of really exciting people in my industry. Without going into specifics, I'll just say that I had a chance to talk about what many would consider the 'gig of a lifetime'...

Just having the conversation was a dream come true enough for me.

It's a conversation not many in the world of radio ever get to have. But I guarantee you, it's one that everyone in radio (at least in the world of top 40) dream of... so from out of the many, for me to be one of the few, was such a rush...

And, that "gig" of a lifetime went to someone I was on the radio with in Lancaster once... almost a lifetime ago... and he's an awesome human being and someone who I'm genuinely happy who got the chance to go to that city. For him... it was right...

For me, it was right, too.

Life happens exactly the way it's supposed to happen. Sure we make choices which sometimes influence reality, but in the end, what is supposed to happen ultimately will... and that's more good enough for me.


Because life is about where we're going... not where we're at. Nor is it about where we've been... because that's the past. And, like I've written before, past = defense.

I prefer to be on offense ;)

And I don't exactly know where the path of my life is going... does anyone really know what the road ahead has in store? I do know it will be what's right for me, for Kyla, for those closest to me and for me professionally.

And, when it's right... it will all be perfect.

In the end, it always all just seems to find a way to come together... and if that's not exciting to you... then you're life needs a dose of fun!

It's a great adventure... this thing called life!

Ok, Kyla's saying "daddy daddy come here..." More later!

-tk the ogre of phat ;)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

tk, where do you get it from?

Lately, I've been thinking about some things... Over the weekend, someone whom I've looked up to from afar for a long long time professionally asked me, "where do you get it from..."

So I started thinking about where "it" comes from with me...

What is "it?"

Some life. Some work. More life. Some more work. I've been thinking about "it"...

Smell the smoke?

I've been thinking about why I've embraced some things, and how embracing them, accepting my faults and weaknesses, and committing to, as Emerson says, "Leave a path" as I go through my life, both professionally and personally... My next few blog posts will have to do with my attempts to do just that... "Leaving a path..."

If you're a careful reader, or if you work in the 'biz' that I work in, you might just find out some things which could possibly help you as you go about your 'biz-naz'...

If you don't work in the business, you'll get to read about a guy who has been in great relationships with great people, screwed them up, found his way again, lost his path, but found his path once again. I'm not sure I've figured it all out but, well, hell, if you don't try, you'll never know... and since I've been inspired to "leave a trail" in recent days, I figured I'd just start hacking away and you can figure it out on your own...

I like to at times say that "we never say thank you enough..." and sometimes, like I've said here before, I don't follow my own advice enough... So, I'd like to take this time to say a long overdue thank you... it's the first of many things I'm thinking about... so let's jump in. Stay with me....

People often times say "tk, where do you get that great writing on your station..."

Well, as much I might be a 'decent' writer... great writing comes with great inspiration... and when I needed to find some emotional inspiration, I turned to one who wears her girl-heart on her sleeve. My parnter in life... my inspiration and my teammate... Carly. Thank you. For making the hair on my arm... or on the back of my neck, stand up. For thinking I look good in blue shirts. For making me try on clothes like a girl because there really is a reason for it. For teaching me about Marc Jacobs, Kiehls, KOEHLS, Louis, Coach, Burberry, Roberta Coin... For loving me -- and kyla -- just the way we are and in spite of everything in life. For NMW. For knowing I've work the same pair of jeans for two days, but not telling anyone... For what you do for me every day... not just every day, but every minute of every day and of every hour. This weekend, as I was in the car riding off onto another great adventure in this life like no other in which I live, I thought to myself that I didn't know if I could tackle yet another one of my -- our -- crazy adventures if I had do it without you... And the truth is, I know I couldn't. So, thank you.

And, if you -- who are reading this -- want her to write imaging for you, and you know what 'imaging' is... you might wanna ask her... because she has been my secret weapon in my work life. She... and a 2 year old named Kyla.

So what do they inspire me to? What do I learn from them?

Selfless passion for one. Open, limitless emotion. Not being afraid to show it. That's what these two girls in my life have taught me. And since -- and WHEN -- I listen (because there are times I guy-out and don't)... I find that I live a better life. A life more at peace and a life more okay with the fact that love loves in spite of imperfections. Through all of it, I find the "reassure-ment" (SIC) which I need to "leave a trail"...

Yes. Reassure-ment. I know. It's an inside word.... LOL.

If you read some of my really really early posts here... you'll see where this "emo-tk" came from. And now you know where my inspiration has come from.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

I keep this card on my desk... and it reminds me of what my course in life is. Once, I was told, when I had lost my way on the path of life that someone "hoped I'd find my way..."

Well, I didn't find my way back onto that path.... Because togehter, we're blazing our way togehter -- and there is no "way" to find... We're leaving a trail together... And I think some people just might be following us...

CAL - Thank you for being my teammate. And my partner.

More of my thoughts later. I've been given cause to think a lot over the last 72 hours... and I've had plenty of time to spend in thought, too...

Like, why does the new McD's Southern Style Chicken sandwich seem earrily similar to the Chic-Fil-A Chicken Sandwich?

Or... You had me at CHOCOLATE... and can a chocoloate bar serve as a cure the symptoms of PMS?

Ponderous man. Just ponderous.

More pondering later :)

I'll see you soon... and thanks for reading...


Sunday, July 23, 2006

Finding what you love...

Tonight, someone asked me, "Do you love being on the air"...

Yeah. I do. There's no other rush like it. You can try to find it, and to duplicate it... but it's just not the same.... When this person asked me this question, a speech by Steve Jobs immediately came to mind and caused me to remember just what it is that guides me...

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

Are you doing what it is that you love? Do you have the courage to follow your heart and intuition... can you even hear it speaking to you?

Let's read this again:
"And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

We've much to talk about, you and I. More soon...

Stay foolish. Be courageous...


'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Bittersweet symphony...

Here's some pics from easter... Kyla and I spending our last full weekend together, at one of the many lakes in the Carolinas... this one, in Raleigh...

Good morning from Kyla's Meme and Papa's house in the Pocono Mountains... where Kyla and I got up at 630 this AM because she's going back to her mom's in Hartford today... She loves her Meme and Papa's... she's just had such a great time in a short amount of time... from the puppydoggie to her toys... she loves being here with her grandparents on my side...

Today, she's got a party for her mom's friends and family today at around 2, and while she's doing that, I'll be driving back to SC to take care of me, some business I need to make SMOKE in the next few weeks and I'll finally finsh making Kyla's room into the playplace it deserves to be... She'll be back with me in June for a week and then, right after July 4th, she'll come back to Columbia until the holidays in December hit...

Is it tough? Yeah. Last night, Kyla decided she'd rather sleep up next to me, so she moved her blankets, pillows, etc over by me and decided to cuddle up next to me. This AM,she's been playing with the puppy here, having a tea party with her new tea party set, and has just been the happy 2-year-old she usually is...

... but I think she knows we won't be together later today. She doesn't go very far from me, and if she does, I hear a "daddy?" call out from across the house... It's pretty awesome to hear it... If you're a dad of a little girl, you can relate. Anyway, Kyla's very blessed to have two parents who love her very much, and, well, I'd say two families... but as I've learned latetly, she's got much more than that going on around her little world! I do know she's already missing her best friend, Carson.... she's been babbling about Carson non-stop since they were at Chuck E. Cheese in Columbia Thursday night...

Anyway, I'll write more and share the pics of her easter with me later today or tomorrow if I have the time... I'm making sure that her clothes are good to go and we'll be off to CT. here shortly... I'll also share some more of my thoughts, too...

I'd like to thank some people for their help while Kyla's been with me these last months... wow... has it been since February? I guess it has... how time does fly by... Hilary Clinton once said that "It takes a villiage..." and she's right, if that villiage is more like a family...

For Kyla, when she's with me in Columbia, it is.

Kelley... thank you for your parental advice, and for taking Kyla into your heart and family as a sister. I know she'll miss Carson... she already does. She woke up this morning and asked me if we were going to NanaCarsonBabyJackson's... LOL... I know she'll look forward to seeing them again in June when she's back with me for a week... and yes, we DO have a suprize for her!

Nana... thank you... for being the grandmother in Columbia for her... she's learned so much from you and has benefited from your loving care... She loves you... and because you've made her one of your own, I love you too...

Jennifer! Thank you for watching her for me for the last hour and a half of my show, thereby allowing us to have fewer color marks on the wall, flat screen monitors, etc!

DuffeyShaun -- I dont know what I'd do without you too... Kyla asked me on the drive up here, "Where duffeyshaun today"... Thanks for everything you've done for her, and for me..

Carly -- You are amazing. Kyla said it best when she said it last weekend to you... "I love you, Car-ee..." Thanks for everything you've done for this little girl... and for her daddy, too...

Meme and Papa... thanks for everything, from Kyla Go-Carts, to tea parties, toys and clothes, and setting the example on how to be a daddy...

Wal-Mart, Kroger, Target,, clothing stores across the Midlands, Baby Gap, etc... thanks!

Palmetto Parent magazine -- lol... thanks for the advice...


more later... gotta hit the road, and have miles to go before I sleep!


Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Staying on offense... in your lane... with confidence...

Had to start by posting a pic of the lil' sleeper... it's her sleepin time, and she's here all crashed out with her baby... what you don't see are her DoraBootsDiego 'looonz' which are in her crib with her... Seeing Kyla sleeping reminds me how simple - and how peaceful - life really is, when we live it with a childlike wonder!

There are times, and more and more often lately, where I find myself asked to dispense some advice. Now, I'm no John Maxwell, Anthony Robbins, et al... Nor am I the guy who is the best at giving advice because I myself find myself needing to seek, follow and to think about the advice I am given, but for some reason lately, I've just been asked for my thoughts... or to advise... and since several of these people are very close to me professionally and personally, I chose to do so.

Life, it seems, can give us things which we just don't understand.

Recently, a friend of mine was interviewed for a job that they believed they were qualified for... that they were more than ready for, and yet, because it just wasn't in the cards, another person was given this promotion. My friend was, well, easily upset to say the least. And why not? Who wouldn't be upset if you were one who believed they deserved something which they wanted, only to be told that you were not the one for it?

I'm learning that you can't be upset about things which don't work out. Why? This will sound very esoteric, but the solution is simple:

It wasn't meant to be. And something better is just ahead for you.

Now, sure. I hear you. "Nice words to make one feel better, tk... it wasn't meant to be..."

Well, it wasn't. If it WAS, my friend would have gotten that job. You'd get that raise you've wanted. You'd get a pair of Citizens of Humanity Jeans, a new Louis Vuitton, the keys to a brand new BMW 645i, oh, and your boyfriend would notice that you're wearing your hair differently today.

But, something better is just ahead. For some, it's a pair of BIG STAR jeans. It's a Mercedes. It's a BETTER gig in a BETTER place which will allow you to THRIVE and to become a STAR because it's tailor made for you.

Once, someone told me that 'all things are working together for the good', and that 'good doesn't always mean what YOU think is good or what YOU want'. And, it's true. But, as I told my friend the other week, when you let go, and accept that there IS something better ahead, you'll find that life starts to live itself more easily.

Last Thursday night, an old friend and business colleague told me of a neat caveat to this idea of mine... that all things do happen for a reason, and that something BETTER really is just ahead for you, but there are three more things you must know and do to facilitate this for yourself:

Stay on offense. Stay in YOUR lane. And have CONFIDENCE.

Pretty cool, hua? It's when we become defensive that we reveal our weaknesses as people. Think about it! When have YOU become defensive? What does it do to your demeanor? You come across as angry... people sense your tension... the vibe puts people off...

EO's words could not have come at a more appropriate time for me. This evening, on my way home, I was on the phone with another friend and colleague and he echoed very similar seniments... Karma? I doubt it.... but it made me listen, that's for sure...

Just today, I got defensive. It made me look foolish. Like Don Quixote, I was defending my windmill, when in reality, I could have spent my time being more productive, solving an issue, and making our team perform better because I was excersicing personal responsibility. Have you been defensive lately? Think of what it might have done to you in the eyes of your peers...

When we go on the defense, we look - and can be - defeated.

Defensive play cost the 1992 Houston Oilers a trip to a Super Bowl. They ran up the score huge, and almost guaranteed themselves a trip to the big game that year...

... until they put in a defensive PREVENT defense which ultimately prevented the win, and gave the Buffalo Bills one of the greatest comebacks in Football history.

In the world of radio, it was going on the DEFENSE that killed the legendary Q105 when the Power Pig came on strong -- playing OFFENSE -- and making the powers that be become so defensive that they imploded, causing a major radio company at the time to flip the formats on a nationally known top 40 station in the country from HITS/TOP 40 to GARTH BROOKS COUNTRY.

It's going on defense in our relationships that causes deeper distrust between the ones we love because our actions spend so much energy defending what is wrong that you never concentrate on what is right.

See the coorelation? When you go on the defense, you find defeat. Doubt. Depression. All these "d" words in orbit around failure in the "defeatist" universe.

I could go on and on... the moral to this story is this:

When we stay on offense, we offer solutions. We move the ball forward and put more and more points on the board. We improve our position. We overwhelm daily. We focus on the POSITIVES of moving forward rather than the negatives of being defensive --- or being reactive.

With my issues today, I should have stayed on offense... and I should have kept moving the ball forward because in doing so, I'd have spent more time being PROactive.... finding solutions... fixing issues, rather than sitting here tired, and mentallty drained, because those are byproducts of a defensive defeatist mentality. Funny, the last time I played serious offense, I learned more about a part of my job than i ever thought I could ever learn.

Funny, the last time I played offense with my family life, I realized I really am a great daddy to a wonderful little girl. The last time I played offense in my relationship, I found that I really do have so much to offer, and I overcame so many inner fears so that WE could have a great relationship together despite the odds of my defensive past. Being on offense in my professional life... well... we're still finishing that story, but I'm thinking it's time to run up the damn score.

> insert devilish grin here as he winks with a subtle confidence <

Now, it's not all roses. Being on offense means accepting personal responsibility for actions you took when you were on defense. You will have to fix residual problems. You'll have to re-earn some trust. You'll have to take an ear-ful from your signifigant other. It might not be easy, but when you're on offense, you'll run toward what you think is hard because it's in breaking down a defense which leads you to the end zone of life.

So, get over your percieved setbacks. Who cares who got what job. So what if you didn't get a promotion, or a raise. You can settle for a Coach over a Louis, right?

Accept that reality is what you choose to make it and get back in the game. Get back on offense. Start moving the chains in the game of your love life, your work life, your home life... Put more points on the board and run up the score. Sure, some might say you're being excessive, but are THEY on offense? If they were, they'd not have questioned your tactics. While they question you, go ahead and toss that pass and put another TD on the board.

Run it up. Win the game. And, like I used to say last summer, live with passion!

I'll be getting back on offense with you. God knows I've not been on offense lately...

... and God knows I need to follow my own advice I've given here...

Funny how life works, right?

With passion........


Recent Kyla!

Hey! Sorry it's been a minute... but I've been busy being daddy... and playing with this little one who you'll see some recent pics of here today!

Now, I do have some thoughts to complete from an earlier post... and I will try to do so today... but while you're waiting... here's some pics of Kyla!!!

Kyla got a new shirt... a present from Carly! This pic was from Sunday night when I was building her new table that she got from her Meme and Papa... more pics on this later today!

This is Kyla feeding her daddy some ICE CREAM for her B-DAY!!! Kyla 2.o: the Kylabration continues!

Kyla and daddy watching the ducks as the sun sets at a lake in Raleigh, NC...

Kyla is comptemplating the whoreifficness of Kellie Pickler on American Idol... in her new Dora papazan which she got for her BDAY 2.0 from Carly! She and Daddy are watching American Idol... and as you can see, she's very intense about this season's competition...

... or she's taking a poop. Both require intense focus and concentration as you know.

Kyla preparing for a future career as a dentist at EdVenture here in Columbia, SC!

Kyla running at the water exhibit at EdVenture here in Columbia!

Monday, February 27, 2006

Monday, February 27, 2006...

5:31 pm... Kyla's here with me at the office for the last 2 hours of my show, as she normally is... it's cool, because she makes things fun! It's funny when she's here, because everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, pitches in... She's like a kid in school who walks down the hall and says hey to everyone she might know...

"Hi, Peenchu" for Pancho, our night jock and my Music Director

"Where Shan" for Shaun from our Morning Show

"Therrr Matty!" for Matty, our Assistant Engineer

"Duffey!" for Duff, one of our part timers who watches Kyla from time to time...

"Carrrsen!" for her friend Carson, who she hangs with at Nana's house all day when she's here...

"Carrrsen mama" for Kelley, our business manager and Carson's mom...

"AnnMac" for Ant Mac, the night guy on the Beat

"Beeyay" for BA, the Program Director of the Beat who has the office right next door to me...

Anyway, I just thought it was cute... when you look at things through the eyes of a two-year-old, it's pretty awesome how simple things really are...

... and how amazing a simple "hey" can be.

So, over the weekend, Kyla and I had her Meme and Papa in town... It's what we call the grandparents in our family... She and her Papa seem to have had a very special bond since I left her with them for a couple of days while Car-Car and I went to the Jersey Shore over the summer on vacation. I don't know what happened, but she learned a ton, and I guess she never forgot it, because she asked all day yesterday after the left "where Papa go?"

Made me feel really good... but also made me feel kinda weird... because she's not having an easy time saying Meme... unless I say it to her together... Memepapa as one word... When I do this, she seems to get it... But, I can understand. She's two, and "ME" is what SHE is, ya know? Anyway, they were here and SPOILED her as usual... new clothes, new toys, new things... It's Kyla's world... We all just live in it!

Got more stories to share from the weekend... they involve an air mattress, a broken bed, yogurt/butter, ice cream and the usual family stuff that comes when family and guests are all in town! Plus, I think we took some pics, too, so I could have more to post later tonight...

Thanks for stopping by... more later!


Thursday, February 23, 2006

Welcome back... here's more Kyla!

Hey Kids... I'm Kyla... and I'm attending to very important business on this phone call... Carson and I are discussing what we're doing tomorrow, and Monday while we're with Nana all day...

LOL. I'm the worlds best chauffer. Did I spell that right?

Below you'll see one of Kyla in the bath... God, she's an amazingly cute little girl... and I'm not just saying that because I'm her dad and stuff... I mean, look at her...

And... for the AFTER HAIR CUT PICTURES... It's not like she has a TON of hair to begin with, so she had her bangs balanced and trimmed, while her mullet-ous length was trimmed, layered and layered some more... What do you think?

Here's another one. She was a CHAMP... didn't really freak, and yeah, she had some help in the chair to hold her and keep her from getting crazy... Come on, she's a 23-month-old version of me, so you know her attention span is about 2.3 seconds long...

She's an amazing little girl...

Well, we're still at the office, and Kyla wants to get some quality DORA time in, and she wants to check out the TOY STORY 2 poster I found at home for her and hung outside her bathroom... So we better get. But, you 'll want to get back here later tonight... If you've missed the introspective musings I've had here, well, you'll want to come back later tonight.

I've had some stuff on my mind for a couple of days... If you want a teaser, well, I'll leave you with this:

"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but by how we react to what happens; not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life.

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst... a spark that creates extraordinary results..."

Let's just say that I've been reading the words of Apple CEO Steve Jobs... A modern day pop-culture revolutionary... who's attitude I love and try to emulate as a leader...

... and, well, there's some motivating I think I need to do, too...

More on that later... the lil' one wants to run!

-tobias x. knapp the third.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Kyla gets her FIRST haircut!

Here's some Kyla pics for you... BEFORE haircut! We had to wait in the mall... so she conned us into some gummy-worms...

... and here she is in the stylist's chair for her FIRST haircut!

She looks a bit concerned... and the pouty face is kinda coming out here... but we got through it!

Should I post more? Let me know!


Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Doctor says...

Kyla and I went to the Doctor today and she says that aside from an ear infection and a heart murmur, Kyla's fine.

Heart murmur?

Yeah, she can blame me for that one... See, I had like TWO when I was younger... I think she'll grow out of them, and the MD doesn't think that anything is tooooooooooooooooooooo scary, but we'll err on the side of caution...

... hey, I just have ONE daughter...

Over the weekend, Kyla got her first haircut, too! I'll get home tonight and try to post some pics for you to see... this assuming there's anyone actually reading what I post here anymore :) See, you go away for a while and people forget about you...

... someone should tell ABC about that and bring back the show COMMANDER IN CHIEF while it's still relevent!

More later... gotta show to do!


Monday, February 20, 2006

Oh, a note...

To catch you up... since it's been two months...

Yes, Kyla is back with me for now :) It's great to have her back in the house... she's grown so much and she's brought with her a new joy! But, I should also add that I'm noticing that she has a bit of a brat in her... it's ok... I just return tantrums and brattiness... with my OWN BRATTINESS!

More soon. Sorry I've been away so long...


Part II....

Time had taken a toll... but it had not taken so much of a toll that it was completely lost forever... instead, it just needed some care... the kind of care only a daddy can know how to give to something made (with some help)... by his daughter.

It is so simple, yet so precious.

On a green piece of construction paper, Kyla had placed her two little footprints on there... captured for all time to remind me of the innocence that my second fathers day could bring. So simple. So small... yet so powerful to me. What was intended for me to receive on Fathers' Day... became the best Christmas gift any daddy could ever want.

Tonight, I put Kyla down and watched... I watched as, with care, she put her three little babies down to sleep. With a care that trancends her 23 months of life, she placed them along side her, and kissed them each... then, she whispered "love you"... and stood up to me...

... and I repeated what she had shown me. A small kiss. A whispered phrase. Another moment in what will be countless as we go through our lifetime.

When she was in her bed, she put one of her feet up to show me...

"Foot" she said.

My mind wandered to her footprints... to that piece of construction paper I found in a Connecticut mall parking lot... in the trunk of a car which would carry her as we went our seperate ways for a while. It was a piece of her that I could physically carry with me to remind me of the wonder of a simpler time in life. So small... so innocent.

"Yes, your foot, Kyla" I said, as she put her little leg down and pulled up the blanket. "You have two of them, and they'll carry you to whereever you want to go in this life. Daddy loves you, Kyla..."

"Love you" she said. "See you ummorrow" she said as I walked to her door. I turned and blew her a kiss... she blew one back and then she rolled over... just like I do as I succumb to my slumber.

Moments that you can only understand when you're a parent... moments which mean even more when you are called 'daddy'...

Good night, Kyla. Thank you for making me a better man. See you tomorrow.