Saturday, May 21, 2005

Thank god it's the weekend.

BLAH. I've just spent the last hour or so on the phone with my bank and with my credit card company... Nothing really out of the ordinary going on, I just wanted to be clear on something I saw when balancing my books and, isn't it funny that it takes SO DAMN LONG for them to clear up the MOST SIMPLE of things? UGH. Sometimes, Customer Service people are the FURTHEST thing from it. Fortunately, things are all worked out.

One of the toughest things about being a dad in the situation I am in is getting used to a new title: Non-Custodial parent. Hi, I am Toby Knapp, Non-Custodial parent of my daughter, Kyla! The title - like the entire "process" of being in a split-parent situation - is cold. It makes you feel like a second class parent when there was nothing you could do about it in the first place. Oh well.

Another one of the toughest things is how the communication between a "non-custodial parent" and the "custodial parent" breaks down. I used to never understand why kids from split parent homes have some issues. Now, I see it clearly. It actually makes me think of the Peter Gabriel song "Games with out frontiers" (i think that's what it's title is)... You'd think that you'd be able to remain somewhat friendly for the good of your child... sadly, it's not always the case.

Anyway... on to brighter things... like Music Midtown in Atlanta. I am still not 100 percent sure, but I think I may head down there to be a part of what is a pretty awesome music festival! Atlanta is not all that far away from here, and, you know abotu me and road trips! It's coming in a couple of weekends... so I have some time to make up my mind. Two years ago, a group of friends and I went down there as guests of a friend of mine who is in a band that was playing there. I was talking to one of them Friday... he was like, "I wish we could get the gang together and go down there"... I do too. God knows we could use the break! He's got his daughter that week (he's in a similar situation that I am in although now, he's remarried) so I understand. If I were lucky enough to have Kyla with me, I'd no doubt be in the same boat. BUT, I'd take her with me!

Funny... I am reminiscing about Music Midtown a couple of years ago... What a good time. It's funny how far we've all come since that trip 2 years ago. My friend met his wife to be on that trip, and I had to twist his arm to get him to go! Another friend is doing radio out west, another got a job out that way too. And me? I'm in the Carolinas now at a new station with new duties... It's funny how far somethings have come and gone... and how some things from that time have come full circle.

If I go, it will be a "coming out" appearance of sorts for me... and that's all I have to say about that... and no, I am not gay. LOL. ;) Speaking of trips... I am planning on skippin' the country soon! LOL - well, maybe not really, but it would be good to get out of here on a vacation soon... someplace warm, sunny and AWAY so that I can recharge. It's been a mentally, emotional and physically draining last several months. If you've followed along with the home game, you know what I mean. I think I've earned a break. And, it will be good to get away and spend some personal time reconnecting with some things...

Ok - so, I am off to the office to take care of some weekend work I do and then, I am off to the Gym, and then, to Ra later on tonight! I hope you're having a restful weekend and enjoying life. It's a pretty awesome thing, this life, isn't it? Embrace it! Remember that there is amazing power in remaining positive. I know that sometimes here it looks like I am venting... and sometimes, I am, but I always strive to look at the positive side of things. To me, life is worth living when you remember the number one rule: Have fun.

Maybe Tim McGraw was right. Live like you were dying. What powerful things happen when you live letting go!


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