Friday, April 29, 2005

Good things come to...

... good people. And today, someone I've watched for a long time has emerged from her chrysalis...

... and has earned one of the best radio jobs you ever could ask for.

>> note, for you who are reading to see what is going on in my life, you'll have to wait for a minute, I want to have a moment to publically speak about a friend of mine. She knows who she is.

Today, a friend of mine saw the fruits of her labor pay off. At the end of the month, she'll take over for someone I know pretty well (he he he) at a radio station in a major US city in the Northeast. It's a station I know well as its the place where, when I was coming up (and as is common in my career), a Program Director (that's what we call "manager" in radio) took a chance on me. Now, the city - and station - which I still hold close to my heart has taken a great chance on someone who has a great heart, endless passion, an insatiable thirst to learn and a spirit which will never be diminshed.

Sometimes, while she was learning, I'd find myself frustrated. But, I'd tell myself, "remember, she was a young TK once". In fact, this person was YOU once if you ever annoyed your boss with endless questions or, if you ever annoyed less-passionate people by always being around - ready to help... willing to work... and yearning to learn.

I was honored to have been one of several great teachers you had, girl, and I know I was in great company in teaching you with Pete, Sara, Stan and others who you came to hang with along the way. I know I am not alone when I say to you "well done."

I know at times along the way, I would get short with you... or would seem "annoyed" or "pissed off". For all those times, I apologize. Consider that to have been a time where I, like a big brother, got annoyed at a kid sister...

... well, now you're that kid sister who will serve as the greatest testiment to what we accomplished at that place in the sun. And I am proud... very proud... and humbled that you thought enough of me to put me in a great company of "references" on a resume. I'll never forget that I am on that list, surrounded by great company, at the time when you stepped forward to take your place at the table of the best radio jocks of the so-called "new school".

Great legacys in radio are the result of people who do things that are legendary... and legacys are all we, at the end of the day, leave behind...

and when you crack the mic in your new city... your FIRST FULL TIME CITY... you will be the next chapter in the story of the most legendary station of all time.

I was just honored to have been in the room.

Go in there and get your destiny, girl... you've earned it.

Thank you for letting me be a part of it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a flight to book... and a going away party to be at. Along the way, I'll have to stop in JAX to get someone else in this radio game that I am very, very proud of...

- Tobias X. Knapp III

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Life* (*instructions not included)

Good Morning. It's time for me to think about going to the gym, hence why I am up this early. And, I've had a lot on my mind since last evening. I know, I've not posted in a while, and that's because I've been stepping back and sorting in REAL life - not on the web - what's been going on around me in my personal world lately.

I wish I had some solutions for you you. I wish I was here telling you that I'd figured it all out - but I am finding that I, like anyone else, have no idea what this life holds. What I have learned is this:

Once you think you've figured it all out, and accepted the way things are, life comes in and steers you a different way.

Don't try to read into it. It's just what I've been thinking about lately.

Life. It's never easy. It's rarely fair. And if you try to figure it out, you'll go insane.

More soon... gotta get to the Fit. Center here... before any other residents get up and see me killing myself in the gym!

Live with PASSION! Even if you feel you can't, reach inside and find the strength.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned, it's been 13 days since my last confession.......

Hey there. Sorry it's been a while since I've updated the blog. I've got several emails from people asking me where I've been, so, in my introspective state today, I decided to say "hey" today.

It's been an interesting time. I'll not get into why, but I'll say this:

Why is it that when just when you think you've got it all figured out, that you realize you didn't have anything figured out at all?

Why is it that life can't be easy.


Ok. Sorry for venting. I'll write more tonight... for some reason, writing helps me to sort things in my mind out, and maybe, I can sort through the clutter in my mind right now and find some sense of closure, direction, hope... who knows... but you'll be able to read about as I go! My god, you're a vouyer, aren't you?? LOL ;)

Back to work... me love you long time.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Living life on the air...

Hi there,

Got an email today, wanted to share it with you... I've promised to many people to eliminate names, etc, because I don't want ANYONE to get any static or emails or anything because they emailed me personally, so if you DO email me, know I'll protect ya!

Hey Toby,

Just wanted to say that I know what your going through, to some extent. I followed the day to day drama when you where in Tampa just for the kicks and I honestly thought it was a joke until things got a little "too serious" and I have learned to keep my life off the air. I certainly hope things get better for ya.......

The guy who wrote is a peer of mine in the industry... He's talking about where I used to work, if you're one of the people who wanders by my blog as a listener...

I don't regret living my life on the air -- good and bad. But, I do wish that I could have held a bit back just so it remained private, personal, and sacred. You've gotta understand, virtually EVERY range of the Human Drama we lived on the air in Tampa... and while this is a GOOD thing because I think that TOO many people in radio are fake, unreal and just full of BS, it DID start to suck when so much of it was lived on the air that eventually, we stopped communicating in person and started communicating via a public forum where anonymous postings could thunder away at what should have remained private.

I can kind of understand why super-celebs like Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards, Britney Federline and others don't dig the paparazzi. For some reason, we, as people, LOVE it when others are doing badly. We EMBRACE it. We use it as an escape from the very REAL problems each of us face becuase these uber-rich people are going through things in front of the world and we think, "hey, maybe my life isn't so f***ed up after all."

I won't stop living my life on the air, bro, and I think you should consider doing it... but, as one who went through it, I'd offer you this caution:

Hold just a little back. Hold the very intimate moments... the personal fights... the disagreements... the walks on the beach... the candlelit dinners... you know, the things that make a relationship special... hold them back. Not eveyone needs to see them... not everyone needs to be a part of them... and remember, your relationship is with just one person, and not the world that is your audience. Be the bigger person and avoid a public "pissing" match so that your private relationship can heal.

I'll say this: life for me is moving forward, but you'll not be reading about all of it here. Why? Beacuse I respect some aspects of it so much that I am applying the lessons learned from my past to it, and keeping just that little bit, private.

I've got many emails lately for some reason from people who are reaching out. Thank you for writing. It's great to hear/see/read that so many of you who are listeners now and who were listeners are interested in how I am doing.

So, how am I? I'm living a life of PASSION... and loving every minute of it.

I'll get into that more later. But I can tell you... when you look for the possibilities that come from life, you find them. When you look for the problems that come from life, you find them, too. I've learned the power that comes from seeking possibilites, so rather than waste my physical and spiritual being on problems, I'll choose to embrace what's possible! It's EXCITING what happens when you do! Try it!

LOL... I can hear Jana telling me to turn off the infomercials LOL... but there's something to this... and I'll share more of it soon...

Chinese Food time... adios!


Tuesday, April 05, 2005


Gooooooood Morning!

That's all I have to say for now... if you want to ask me anything...

More later - I have to get back to watching continuing coverage of the Pope...


Monday, April 04, 2005

Birthdays, lost time, and more...

I just landed in Columbia from my whirlwind weekend in Boston for Kyla's birthday... It was sooooooo good to see her. She's grown, she's so smart - she's got even more teeth coming in and she LOVES this baby doll her mom and I got her... Her grandparents and that side of the family were gracious hosts to me personally and it felt good to be there. Of course, there were akward moments, as you can imagine. The unspoken at times screams the loudest, but, the day was ALL about KYLA. She was showered with gifts, and certainly will be able to fill her new nursery with even more toys than she had when she was here! It reminded me of Christmas at my grandparent's house... gifts everywhere and a room full of love. I'm thankful she's got that... She is so lucky to have an extended family that loves her to pieces, and I witnessed it first hand this weekend. As a 'daddy from a distance,' it's good to know she's in good hands, even if they're not mine.

It seems like just yesterday when I heald her for the first time. I can still see it... in my mind's eye... I remember cutting the cord... I remember holding her downstairs one night... looking at her and thinking about the future. I remember the little things, like the time a friend was holding her, and she wanted to come back to me, and she put her little arms out and reached for me... something any baby would do for its mom, but for me, it was the first sign that she knew I was daddy, and that everything will be alright.

To quote Ryan Cabrera, "I feel 40 kinds of sadness", tho, and it's because I saw Kyla and realized that I've lost time I'll never get back again. I won't get to see her walk by herself for the first time... Won't get to hear her utter her first word... Won't be there to hear her say "daddy" to me. I'd expand on my thoughts, but I've got another forum for that...

Through the weekend, a friend of mine reminded me to cherish every moment that I spent with Kyla. I just wish I had more time. That same friend reminded me of the importance of living life without expectations... and I agree. The greatest thing about life is that none of us can predict where it will take us... that's the best part of the journey, isn't it?

... and this weekend I was reminded to cherish every moment of it... because they'll never come again.

So, I flew out of weather that was expecing a high in the 50's... and landed here in SC where it was 75! I wouldn't trade the weather for the world... New England is just tooooo cold and rainy... I guess it has it's nice points, but there's just something about the south... and about California, too!

More soon...