tk // search

Monday, February 28, 2005

CANI

Constant and Neverending Improvement. It's an idea that i've really come to embrace over the last couple of weeks. It says that as long as you commit to improve at least one thing about yourself every day, you then move into a constant state of becoming better. It's amazing how true that is. If you commit yourself to just making one small change every day that betters yourself, you really DO reach even greater heights!

Sometimes, it means making a decision that you have to improve yourself inspite of what you might have wanted to have happen. Sometimes, it means accepting what is and choosing to make the future - day by day - even better. It's really kind of liberating. But, it's not super-revolutionary. The old saying "just for today" or "step by step" is kind of the driving force of CANI. If you make a choice to better yourself daily, and you maneuver day by day - step by step - no one can stop you!

Anyway, just my thoughts for the day...

Peace out... back to work on some crap here at the house...

tk

Sorry it's been a few days....

I know. I've let the BLOG slide while I've been out doing the things I have to do around here.

I am ok. On a professional level, things are excellent. ON a life level, things are interesting on 2500 calories a day LOL.... Actually, It's funny, people have been asking me about the health stuff, and it's really OK, people. Don't worry. I'm aware of what factors have caused it, and I am aware of what factors will fix it...

... so I won't be dying anytime soon ;)

But it's still one of those things which stays at the forefront of your mind... but the good thing is that it was/is a catalyst which caused me to make serious changes in the way I operate.

Speaking of things which I've been "getting" lately as I try to improve myself... I've discovered a new philosophy which is pretty awesome... and it's got just 4 letters to it... CANI.

More on that later. Let me just say that it's really opened my mind and unleashed some things... I am psyched about it!

Mas tarde...

tk

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

why...

why...

just asking.

i just dont know what's got into me.

;)

Dave Chappelle...

... is the greatest comedian of our time.

All I have to say is "the VD gang..."

LMAO!

It's time to re-think radio...

... tk

Yo!

So let me tell you about a great restaurant you should go to in COLA, especially if you want to eat somewhat healthy: It's called BIRD ON A WIRE. Great chicken place...

Let me tell you about the difference a couple of days on an adhd drug make... it's pretty awesome. You focus like a lazer beam on the craziest things and you get everything done... and then some! Like simple things... last night, I decided to do all the dishes. DONE. All of them. Talk about motivation. Then, I started tackling laundry! I've still got more to do but more than 1/2 of the MOUNTAIN of laundry I had is now GONE! It's pretty amazing... You get onto a task... and you get it done!

Tonight should be interesting... I am training again. For whatever reason, the last couple of times, I started training and stopped because what I thought were life issues got in the way. This time, for me, I feel like it's all about LIFE that I am back in. The realization that if I don't, things could be very, um, interesting in life to say the least, has become a motivator. Life is a powerful motivator. Especially when you know you're doing it for your health more than any other thing.

Speaking of health, I got great news from a friend today that inspired me. She's LSJ, and if you know her, you know that she's like family to me and many others I know...

... well, for the first time in 8 1/2 years, she's cancer free.

An amazing miracle for an amazing person... who has been a valued counsel to me lately... Thank you GOD for healing my friend LSJ and for letting her have her life to live for another day...

OK, I am out. Hope you are well... thanks for reading... and please keep me in your thoughts... back there in the back of your mind with the other things you keep back there... ;)

.... the soon to be much healther tk

Monday, February 21, 2005

FOCUS.

God. I forgot how liberating the feeling of focus is when you're taking an ADHD drug! I just wanted to check in and say WOW...

Ask your doctor if Strattera is right for you...

LMAO!

I hear the Alter Bridge show I wanted to go to last night was awesome. Wish I could have been there... I hear my friend was supplying the liquor to the band since they got screwed by the Carolina BLUE LAWS!

Ok... off to the show now...

;)

tk

The best part of my blog...

... is the people who read it, but don't let you know they read it! It's funny, because they give you the "look" or they ask you if everything is fine... or they kinda ask questions to see if your post is directed at them. It's kinda cool, actually. The power of the blog is a funny thing!

So, let me say some BLOGshouts: Hey to ALL OF YOU who know that I know you're reading! :)

Have a good day!

tk

Nothing like going to the doc...

... and finding out the things you've gone through lately have caused your blood pressure to shoot up...

... but the best thing is that there is something I can do about it, and I am!

The funny thing is anxiety... like, I don't normally show much emotion on the things which are hurting or bothering me... I kinda internalize it and fight through it, but now, that internalization has become one of several factors which have elevated my stress levels! THANK GOD FOR WELLBUTRIN!

Don't worry... I will be fine... if I do the things I need to do to reduce stress and things which cause anxeity, stay focused on the treatment plan, and make the real changes in life I need to make in the areas that need to be changed.

For guys - If you think you've got some things which have caused you stress that you're not sharing, don't wait until you one morning feel real pains in your chest or something to go see a doctor. Don't think that "i'll get through it because this is just a situation I've caused which I can handle if I just work on it". Your body sends you messages... and you're the only one who can tell what they are. When you get a message - get to an MD.

Into the world of work I go. I'll write more soon...

tk

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Randomness, A-D-D, O-C-D and...

... ha. made you look, right?

I am literally out the door to the club (suprize... tonight, it's Ra)... But I wanted to shoot in and say hey. I did a TON of nothing today... Like I finished some Saturday work yesterday and literally lounged around the house until about 6pm...

... It felt great to do nothing for once in a long time...

Alright... I am out. Peace. Holla later. One love. I miss you. Wish you were here. I meant to say I am sorry a long time ago. What I really meant to say is that I'm sorry for the way I am... never meant to be so cold....

Wow... Random. Lyrics. :)

...t2

Friday, February 18, 2005

Inspired.

Scott Stapp has a song... it's called Relearn Love. I've moved it to power roatation in my ipod for today...

Why Scott Stapp?

Because for some reason, I just relate to him.

I heard the "new Creed" band known as Alter Bridge's new song today... WOW. Amazing. They're in the Carolinas this weekend and I doubt I could go see them... but if I could, I would.

At any rate, go download some Alter Bridge and some Scott Stapp... and listen.

I have a gig tonight... at Rio with the homies... I'll write soon.

I am kinda down, but I'm getting through it... ;)

Thanks for your kind comments and emails... you can reach me at tobyknapp@clearchannel.com

... tobi

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Road Trips...

Driving really clears my head. Especially when it's a quick drive up the road to Charlotte... Last night, I went off on another one of those drive. Had dinner with some friends and associates at the Capitol Grille in Charlotte. It reminded me of the times in Tampa when Stan, myself, our old boss and his family and some others would roll into Shulas... It was one of *those* nights... LOL...

At any rate, it's always good for me at least to hit the road to be alone with just the music, my thoughts and with really no set direction. Some of the best self therapy I've ever found has been behind the wheel... You outta try it.

I've taken some decisive action with my own life lately. I'll get into more of it later, but I've decided some things... and those small decisions are truly the catalyst for some much larger changes which are coming with me personally... more on that soon!

Back to work for me,

towbnap

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Toby will die.

June 30th. Click here.

Hi.

Sorry it's been a few days since I last wrote here. I've been trying to sort lots of things out... from gigs, to the job... to being on air... to upcoming WNOK contesting and more... not to mention in the least that I've been dealing with some personal stuff which, as you've probably figured out by now, is staying pretty private. If you caught my earlier posts, then you know how hard it can be to live a very public life when very private pain comes around.

But I've found some inspiration in the words of a writer who you may laugh at, but honestly, I am reading his words in this book and I am totally amazed at what it's doing to my inner being. I really want to actually get home to read more of it, but I've got dinner with an old friend, and a mutual member of my family tonight up the road in Charlotte. Pancho Rico y Usted and I are on our way up there tonight and I will be back most likely by midnight to write a bit more.

The thing I've learned about today is the power of making a decision. It can be small... or it can be large, but when you make a decision, it's empowering, and the results are amazing.

So what did I decide?

That there are some areas in life I want to do better. I've decided I am SICK and TIRED of letting some things keep me from performing at an amazing level, and I've decided I am going to own up, take responsibility for mistakes I've made in life and that I am going to do what it takes to reach that optimum level. Now that I've made this first decision, I believe every other decision I have to make will be another step toward a life of amazing results.

I guess I am realizing that we all have the potential in us. We just need to awaken the giant within. Let that giant wake up in me. Wow. Kinda scary hua? "Toby's been reading some weird self-help dogma..."

No, not really. Life has just been a catalyst for me lately... It should be fun to see where it all goes.

Ok... Green Day coming... Lenny Kravitz coming... AND... I really love this new John Legend CD I just was handed by my homies at Columbia Records... Kayne West produced it. It's amazing... "Ordinary People" is the name of the song... For those reading here right now who want to look for my infamous alleged "hidden messages" in my writings, go read the lyrics to the song...

One love...

tbyknp

On June 30th...

...Toby will die.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

What a day...

It's been a long day.

Peace. One love.

toby

Sleep...

I feel much better this morning... Well, I am still congested, but I crashed last night at like 10-ish. It just hit me like a ton of bricks and down i went. It's all good tho... I feel better today than I have all week, and it will be good to be back in the saddle again! Off to work for me... Hope you are well today... and I'll try to write some more later...

..tk

Monday, February 07, 2005

Great. Maybe I shouldn't have gone off on mental illness because now....

... I am sick. LOL. Actually, I felt it coming over the weekend, and like I usually do, I tried to press on and not pay attention to it. Now, I am at home, chillin in an empty house with the heat on and it feels like it's -500 degrees. I think - no, I know - i've got a fever. I am just run down. I've dealt with alot lately, and if you're a fan of the show, then you've not really heard much of it (until today) because God knows I am not one to bitch and moan about being sick or about other crap on the air. My old boss where I came from used to tell me that I was insane for not taking more personal time - or vacation time - or for working even when I was sick, but hey, for me, work can be therapudic. At any rate, it's Campbell's Chicken Soup for me, and hopefully, I'll find my way to a pleasant evening tonight. I hate this feeling. Everyone at the station's had this stuff... Pancho, LJ, Sheena, now me.

So, what thoughts should I pose here for you today that will reveal a glimpse into my life? Well today, as if it was by some form of providence, I heard from two people from my distant past. TWO. Amazing that they called me today... And it actually felt good to hear from them. Like LITERALLY while I was on the phone with one, the other called. Freaky hua? Almost TOO UNCANNY. It was more of the same general "how are you, you ok, have things been good" kinda stuff, but to know they reached out across the distance to connect for a moment really meant a lot to me. Time is a wonderful thing. It's funny, because I remember one time, someone's mom told her that "distance makes the heart grow fonder". Well, that is actually very true. In our case, it actually healed a lot of issues and we've become better friends today. I do know this: Everything for a reason... always. Regardless of what you might think about this "theory" it is, nontheless, an undeniable truth in life.

More to come... let me go make that soup. I've got a couple of thoughts on my mind that I want to get out there tonight... and I won't be able to sleep until I do!

Adios muchachos...

-the admittedly selfish guy who f*ck's everything up.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Tyler Hilton... Not Santa Claus but he's coming to town...

You've seen him, right? Tyler Hilton. He's on ONE TREE HILL on the WB. He's also the guy singing that song we play called "WHEN IT COMES". Off the air today, I've been busy, making sure little things are done... and tying up loose ends. It's funny... a lot really goes into bringing superstars into town, but, it's cool for us, at WNOK and it's cool for you, because when would you otherwise be able to meet someone as cool as he is!

Richland Mall tomorrow is where you wanna go if you want to meet him. From 3-4:30pm, you'll have a chance to say hi to him, take a pic, get something signed... Then, our VIP's will get into an INVITATION ONLY performance at Rio Nightlife. If you are not a VIP, you should be!

What a gray day today... Jim Gandy says no snow is on the way, but it feels like it might as well just do it... I feel like I've been in one endless meeting... It's funny how it seems that when you've got the most on your mind personally is when work comes calling for even more attention. You ever been in that situation? Sometimes, you just gotta press on, but it's not always easy to do... but if you believe in yourself... and in the inner power which drives your passion, you'll be fine...

Alright... I gotz ta get back to my show... need anything? Let me know... and thanks for passing by my BLOG today...

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

BSB?

Gang,

I just heard the new Backstreet Boys song. It's called "Incomplete"... and I can't believe I am about to say this:

I like it. A lot. And I didn't think I was going to.

I remember when I was in Vegas once for the RMA's... chowing down with Nick Carter at a Mexican Joint in the Paris Hotel Shops... and he kind of hinted that things "could" be pretty awesome for BSB at some point... If this is what he was alluding to, he's right on. Nick, if you're reading, awesome job. I can't wait til we can play it on WNOK... I want to see what you think.

At any rate, the song connects with me personally, and has a ton of emotions I can relate to. You should hear it.

It's not the only song out there that's kinda made me go WOW lately. Lifehouse is back with "Me and You", and it's a pretty insane song. I mean, it's hauntingly strong. If you remember the power that their song "Breathing" had back a couple of years ago, then you'll be looking forward to this song. It's pretty awesome... #1 most downloaded at iTunes this week, so if you are of the iPOD pursuasion... you outta get on it!

I'll write some more tonight. I had a pretty awesome evening on top of the Wilbur Smith building last evening at a dinner with some co-workers and friends. The view from up on top overlooking Columbia at night was actually pretty inspiring. I'll tell you some more later...

...tobias